Wednesday, July 26, 2017

26 July 2017

Trusted medical sources assure me that after a certain point, it's just Jolly Rogers the rest of the way through.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

25 July 2017

Farmers here in California are experiencing a labor shortage so deep and so sustained that they are either switching the crops they grow (say goodbye to California-grown asparagus) or developing machines that can do all that manual labor that really keeps farms humming along. Between the drought and the rapid mechanization of farm jobs, I predict that California will essentially look like Tatooine in about twenty years. Also, I know nothing about agriculture.

In other news, Donald Trump---ah, you know what? We all know Trump is a sociopathic sleazeball, so let's not dwell on whatever the fuck it was that he did to the Boy Scouts today. Go enjoy your evening and forget about that piece of shit for a few hours.

Monday, July 24, 2017

24 July 2017

Aside from the whole USC debacle, there is another weird little scandal coming to light here in Los Angeles. This one involves the LAPD cadet program, which is a shame, because those kids deserve better. Apparently some equipment room manager did his level best to corrupt a few young minds, leading to multiple high speed chases in stolen squad cars and sexual assault charges being brought against the offending adult.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

23 July 2017

Man, today's A1 was wall-to-wall criminal shenanigans, with the sole exception of a little piece on the growing excitement over the Great American Eclipse (the celestial phenomenon, not the current presidency). And, as you might expect, the rich and powerful are largely getting away with it (hell, one of them is ostensibly running the fucking country right now), and the only guy doing any jail time is the poor security guard who was wrongly convicted. He did 11 years.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

22 July 2017

Well, you won't have Spicey to push around anymore in your lamestream media reportage. But fear not: Trump's new Communications Director, Anthony Scaramucci, is already dishing out steaming piles of comedy gold via twitter. Huckabee-Sanders, you need to step up your game.

Friday, July 21, 2017

21 July 2017

Oh no! Donald Trump can't understand Japan's First Lady Akie Abe! Help him out by finding her message to him in the word search above.

Hey, look at that, today you got a puzzle! Tomorrow we'll maybe get one last chance to draw that idiot Spicey.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

20 July 2017

Today the paper has a piece on O.J. Simpson's parole hearing, but, as we all know, O.J. did in fact get paroled this very afternoon. It also happens to be Marshall McLuhan's birthday today, and we are ass-deep in wildfire season here in California. So basically today was like a paragraph in "Underworld."